My brain says no but my pants say off.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
