dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
my poor anus
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
