My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We're too hungover to prance.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
