So drunk its hurt
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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