If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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