Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
