there's paper in my vomit.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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