I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
