Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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