Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
