well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
