'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize