Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
