with your own penis?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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