I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
