break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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