my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
