I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize