Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
