I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
