TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
