.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
