dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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