did you get engaged???
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
