Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
