Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
