Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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