is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
