all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
