there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
