I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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