sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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