And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
