just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
