So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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