No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
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In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
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I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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