i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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