Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
