***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i will never coherently bang her
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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