Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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