did you get engaged???
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
