ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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