Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my shit smells like andre
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
