I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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