This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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