Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize