yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
