There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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