I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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