i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
