What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
