i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
