he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
