Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
