I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
