he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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