Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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