and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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