So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
