The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I am never drinking with the goths again.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
