1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize