I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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