it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
