you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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