I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
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Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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