My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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