he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
4 words: hood of his car
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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