STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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