hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
