my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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